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Friday, 11 April 2014

J Is For: Joker Gone Wild

Mad Hatter

The Mad Hatter sat at the table shuffling the deck of cards. He was feeling lucky. The Queen of Hearts had won the two games yesterday, and he was still fuming over the bag of lollipops he had to hand over as the prize. It was a good thing Alice did not suspect they were using toffee as chips and lollipops as the prize. They would not get any more. Each colour of the lollipops had a prize value.


The Queen of Hearts watched carefully as the Mad Hatter did his fancy shuffling.

Queen of Hearts

Show-off, she thought. I wonder how many lollipops I can take him for? That's if he has any left after I cleaned him out yesterday.

The Cheshire Cat was the scorekeeper. White Rabbit blew his trumpet to signal the start of the game. A small crowd was gathering to watch the play-off. Everyone knew how competitive these two were. They were the best Joker players at Wonderland Retreat. But they were also the most quarrelsome too, despite their strong friendship. 

"I see you 2, raise you 1," Mad Hatter said, trying to keep a Joker face. One of the yellow lollipops was the prize this time. It had high value like the red ones. Oh, how he loved those.

"That's not fair," replied the Queen of Hearts in her deep, raspy voice. "Cheating so soon in the game?"

"Who are you calling a cheater?" You silly old bat!"

"Off with his head! How dare you call me names!" 

"You can't take my head off. We're at Wonderland Retreat, you nut!"

"Too bad. It would have been more entertaining than playing Joker with a fool."

"Yep, you are the fool, but I couldn't find another Joker player."

"Ow!" exclaimed the March Hare when a toffee hit his face. "What was that for?"

"Sorry March Hare, I was trying to knock the hat off that old geezer beside you," apologised the Queen.

"Oh, so it was me you were trying to hit. You have lousy aim. Here, let me show you what a good throw looks like!" shouted the Mad Hatter, and he threw a giant lollipop at the Queen of Hearts which hit her smack in the middle of her face, knocking her off her throne.

Queen of Hearts Throne

The two friends tended to argue more than they played. This seemed to draw a bigger crowd, as Wonderland Retreat had gotten a few more patients. The International Cuckoo Investigation Agency (I.C.I.A.) were impressed with her treatment of Pinky and the Brain, and often sent her new clients. Business was good for Dr. Alice. 

"Oh, get on with the game. I haven't all day to keep score of your craziness," yawned the Cheshire Cat, as he made himself comfortable on a lounge chair.

Dr. Alice looked out the window when she heard the commotion. She saw candy being thrown all over the place and ran outside.

"That's my good candy going to waste. Queen of Hearts and Mad Hatter, go to your rooms after you clean up this mess. There will be no more candy treats for you two for a awhile."

"She started it," complained the Mad Hatter. 

"No, I did not!" said the Queen of Hearts, pushing him.

"Cut it out!" Alice said firmly. Thank goodness it was Friday, she thought. A tall glass of strawberry smoothie is what I need to unwind.

The poor Mad Hatter looked sad as he went to his room. His luck had changed again. Will he ever win a Joker game against the Queen of Hearts?

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